Escape Room is so Stupid it Doesn’t Know How Stupid it is.

Escape Room is so stupid, it’s almost difficult to put it into words.

Basically, take the worst people imaginable with the worst personalities ever and imagine them screaming at each other non-stop, either out of anger, pettiness, or fear. I don’t think I could put it any better than one of the characters did in one of Escape Room’s rare moments of self-awareness: “It’s like I’m playing the world funnest game with the world’s meanest people!”

On top of the bad characters and two of the worst, most wooden performances I’ve seen in a long time, the plot of this movie is forehead-slappingly dumb. A bunch of people, promised $10,000 to play an escape room, find out that it’s a house of horror that could kill them. Yep… it’s PG-13 Saw.

You learn that this escape room is run by super rich people who like watching plebians fight for survival and, like any organization of evil, cover their tracks so well that no one ever catches them and everyone doubts they exist.

Okay… but what if one of your players gets excited and puts that they might win a 10k escape room challenge on Facebook? Then what?

I’m really only giving this dumb, stupid, dumb movie one star because I really did think that a couple of the puzzle rooms were clever. A couple weren’t. I swear, folks, there’s one room that might as well be called Snapchat Filter Room. It also doesn’t help that the puzzles are obvious and easily solved. Heck, I’ve already got the “big twist” of the sequel figured out. The first victim, that Indian guy, is the game master. You just watch.

Escape Room is so stupid, it doesn’t know how stupid it is.

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