Jason Gaston

I Survived West Edmonton Mall!

In today’s episode of “Why Am I Like This?” I journey into the glittering chaos that is West Edmonton Mall — aka the mall that looked at other malls and said, “Cute… now hold my poutine.”

This place isn’t just a mall. It’s a theme park, a water park, a hotel, a skating rink, a pirate ship, and possibly a portal to another dimension where escalators never end and teenagers roam in their natural habitat. I walk the equivalent of a marathon just trying to find the food court.

Along the way, I check out sea lions living their best lives, witness roller coasters somehow crammed between shoe stores, and question how many Cinnabons is too many Cinnabons. Science still doesn’t know.

Come for the shopping, stay because you got lost in Galaxyland and can’t find the exit.

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