‘The Underground Comedy Movie’ Should Remain Buried Like Toxic Sludge or Nuclear Waste

Do you remember the slew of late-night commercials for The Underground Comedy Movie a couple of years back?  Supposedly, it was the movie “they” didn’t want you to see… though, personally, I’m kind of wondering who “they” is and why they’re so concerned over what I watch.  

The Underground Comedy Movie touted itself as “guaranteed to offend” and was hyped up as the movie so funny that you could only get it through mail-order.

Of course, this should have raised any number of red flags… I mean, there’s a reason why a movie comes directly to video and an even bigger reason why stores won’t carry it.

Well, a few years later… I see a copy of The Underground Comedy Movie in the store.  My curiosity got the better of me and I picked it up to see if this movie was as funny as it hyped itself.

For your own information, The Underground Comedy Movie is the offspring of a cable access show called, appropriately enough, The Underground Comedy Show.  Vince Offer – Yes, the Sham-Wow Guy – an obvious legend in his own mind, apparently decided to inflict his idea of comedy on the world… despite the fact that the world didn’t do anything to him in the first place… and somehow got The Underground Comedy Movie distributed to the innocent and unknowing populous.

Now, unless you’re a complete moron, you’ve probably figured out that I am not terribly impressed by this movie.  Point of fact, I think that The Underground Comedy Movie is probably one of the least funny films I’ve ever had the torture of sitting through.

Here, let me give you a taste of just what this movie offers…

The first skit is a send up of a superhero movie.  We’ve got this guy called Rhymer who looks a little like the Joker and Riddler’s offspring and who, not surprisingly, rhymes everything he says.  It’s then that we meet the hero, Batman who – ha, ha, ha – is a baseball player and carries a bat with him which he uses to hit elderly people. 

Oh, where does Vince Offer come up with this stuff?

What about the completely witty sketch starring Joey Buttafuoco?   It’s a parody of The Godfather called… oh, my side!  The Godmother!  Keep an eye out for the piece where they save money on spaghetti sauce by using aborted fetuses. 

It’s almost sad how desperate this movie is when it tries to offend people because it’s not funny enough to make them laugh.

How about the seemingly never-ending music video, a parody of I Love LA, called – wait for it… I Hate LA!  Wow, who under the age of seven wouldn’t make that leap of comedy?

Not a single one of the haphazardly put together sketches in The Underground Comedy Movie is funny.  A few have potential like Michael Clarke Duncan – in a role I’m sure he would have rather forgot – playing a big black bald gay virgin who keeps fending off the advances of a licentious small gay white man.  This sketch might have been funny if they’d left it alone, but they revisit it three or four times in the movie, run it into the ground, and kill the joke.

I’m beginning to wonder if, rather than face the humiliation of actually appearing in this movie, Micheal Clarke Duncan welcomed the warm embrace of death instead.

The Underground Comedy Movie is just another example of a hack writer confusing funny with offensive.  I don’t mind offensive stuff… but if a movie is going to gross me out, it’d better darn well be funny and The Underground Comedy Movie is about the farthest thing from funny I’ve ever seen.  If funny is home plate and offensive is the outfield, The Underground Comedy Movie is sitting in a crater on the moon.

There’s no pacing, no timing, no direction remotely approaching foreword… it’s like this movie was edited by monkeys!

Worst of all, there’s no funny… none at all.  I could barely finish this vile piece of trash.  This movie is guaranteed to offend and I guess it did, though not for the reasons is meant to… I was offended I spent money on seeing it when I could have just downloaded it… but, then again, what guarantee would I have that movie pirates would want this garbage on its servers?

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