Puerto Rico is beautiful, historic, delicious, chaotic—and absolutely part of the United States, despite what several thousand furious Facebook scholars apparently learned from a map they found inside a Cracker Jack box.
In this roast, we’re taking on everything from Puerto Rican traffic and tropical humidity to coquí frogs, mofongo, power outages, cruise ship tourists, and the mainland geniuses who heard Bad Bunny speak Spanish and immediately assumed he had invaded the Super Bowl from another country.
Yes, Bad Bunny is American.
Yes, Puerto Ricans are American citizens.
And yes, some people desperately need to repeat fifth-grade geography before they’re allowed to put “patriot” in their social media bio.
This roast is savage, affectionate, deeply unserious, and aimed primarily at people who somehow have very strong opinions about America despite not knowing which places are actually in it.
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