In this episode of Old Man Yelling At Hollywood, I shake my fist at the cinematic sky and yell the episode title like it personally wronged me:
“They Sucked Out All The Fun.”
Remember when going to the movies felt dangerous? When you didn’t already know the plot, the cameos, the post-credit scene, and the Funko Pop release schedule six months in advance? Yeah. Me too.
This week I rant about how modern IP mining, cinematic universes, prequels to spin-offs of reboots, and “content strategy” have slowly vacuum-sealed the joy out of movie anticipation. Studios don’t release films anymore — they roll out quarterly shareholder updates with capes.
From algorithm-approved storytelling to trailers that show the entire third act, I dig into how we went from event cinema to content drops. Is it franchise fatigue? Is it nostalgia abuse? Is it my age? (Don’t answer that.)
If you’ve ever walked out of a theatre thinking, “Well… that was competent,” this one’s for you.
Grab a lawn chair. I’m yelling again.
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