What if Cujo was wetter… angrier… and could tell you exactly how he plans to kill you using sign language?
Congratulations. You’ve just invented PRIMATE.
In this video, I review Primate (2026), a January horror release that had absolutely no business being this tense, this efficient, or this committed to the idea of a rabid chimpanzee choosing violence. This movie knows exactly what it is, wastes none of your time, and delivers some genuinely nerve-shredding moments — plus gore that made me sit up straight and say, “Well damn.”
We’re talking: 🐒 A killer signing chimp with a mean streak
💀 Surprisingly effective tension and pacing
🩸 Gore that goes way harder than expected
🎭 Characters who mostly act like real humans (a miracle!)
🍺 Two frat bros who exist solely to become monkey chow
Is it a horror classic? No.
Did it absolutely earn my ticket, popcorn, and Coke Zero? Yes.
Did it make me afraid of chimps again like it’s 1995? Also yes.
Watch the review, tell me if you would survive a murderous monkey, and let’s talk about why January horror sometimes sneaks up and chooses chaos.
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💬 Drop a comment and tell me your favorite killer animal movie
And if you want to support the channel and help fund my continued descent into reviewing movies where animals commit felonies, check out my Patreon at patreon/jasonroygaston. It’s only $5 a month, it genuinely helps, and I promise I’ll keep watching these so you don’t have to.
#primate2026 #HorrorMovies #MovieReview #IndieHorror
#TeamMonkey #SignLanguageOfDeath
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