Welcome back to the channel, friends and fellow survivors of cinematic war crimes!
Today… oh today… we are diving into Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 (2025) — a “horror movie” so catastrophically awful it might actually qualify as a violation of the Geneva Convention.
In this video, I unleash a flamethrower attack on a film that personally attacked me, my soul, my ancestors, and anyone who ever believed movies could be good.
We’re talking:
🔥 Josh Hutcherson looking like he’s being held hostage by his contract
🔥 Abby making decisions so catastrophically dumb that gravity gave up
🔥 Animatronics so un-scary they should be working mall security
🔥 A plot held together with chewed gum and fear
🔥 The most disrespectful cameos in horror history
🔥 A director who apparently filmed this during his lunch break
🔥 And an ending so insulting my will to live walked out of the theater before the credits rolled
If you’ve ever wanted to watch a grown adult disassemble a movie like an angry raccoon with a vendetta, THIS is the episode for you.
Grab a snack. Hydrate. Maybe pray.
This rant goes scorched earth.
And if you enjoy your cinema takedowns extra crispy, please LIKE, SHARE, and SUBSCRIBE to help me keep the algorithm fed and happy. Want to support the channel even more? Visit my Patreon — it’s only $5 a month and helps fuel my ongoing recovery from watching movies like this.
👉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/JasonGaston
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