Well, color me decapitated and call me a premonition! Jason Roy Gaston is just as shocked as you are to find that *Final Destination: Bloodlines* isn’t just another lazy horror cash grab—it’s a legitimately good time. And by “good time,” we of course mean it features more creative deaths than a Looney Tunes fever dream and enough blood to make a butcher faint.
In this review, Jason dives headfirst (unlike that poor guy in the escalator scene) into the surprise return of the long-dormant *Final Destination* series. What was supposed to be another dusty corpse in the horror franchise graveyard has somehow risen like a vengeful Rube Goldberg machine of doom.
It’s fast, fun, and filled with more over-the-top kills than a Mortal Kombat tournament on bath salts.
Come for the sarcasm, stay for the disbelief that this franchise actually managed to make a comeback without being a total trainwreck… although ironically, there *is* a trainwreck. Literally. It’s spectacular.
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Jason Gaston 
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