With “E.L._.O.,” We Get a Whole Lot of Nothing on ‘Titans’… Again!

Imagine for some reason you’re watching a baseball game. The pitcher winds up and winds up and winds up but never pitches. THAT is what this season of Titans feels like. It started out horrible, taking forever to set the pieces, had a few good episodes, and then went back to storybuilding without advancing any plots — a swear, this is the kind of thing that Game of Thrones did for years and we all know how that went.

So this is ” E.L._.O.” The female Titans are drawn to this crappy little diner in Nevada by a mysterious force using the weirdest and most inefficient means necessary that, by any logical stretch, shouldn’t have worked but did anyway. Meanwhile, Dick is still in prison and hallucinating the annoying Bruce Wayne hallucination again. They tease Nightwing as they’ve been doing all season and make a surprising revelation that should surprise absolutely no one.

Obviously, I am not entertained. As I said, the summoning of some of the Titans to the diner was just… Folks, there’s no other word for it: Stupid. It was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. The idea that Bruce Wayne used subliminal messages, distorted phone calls, and dreams somehow to lure the lady Titans into a meeting is just… stupid. How did this work?

Granted, with the revelation that Jericho is alive, there might be an extra force at work, but the hows and whys are still ridiculous. I can’t believe a professional writer was paid actual money to write this idiocy.

The Dick in prison stuff already feels old and drawn out and I’m so tired of the show teasing Nightwing. As slow as Titans is, I am going to make the prediction that we’re going to get less than one episode with Dick in costume before the season is over.

I’m over it. Really. Move on and do something.

Astoundingly, the only part of the episode that really caught my attention and made me feel anything was watching poor Gar get torturous brain surgery from Cadmus. Gar is the bright optimistic light of the Titans in a sea of angst and testosterone, and seeing him get tortured and violated in such a way was hard to watch which is fortunate since Titans, apparently aware that it was the only interesting part of the episode, spent a whole three minutes on it.

I thought that this show was finally finding its footing, but now it’s sinking back into the boring slow burn it was at the beginning of the season. I hope this is just a temporary thing, but the more do-nothing episodes that get streamed into my television, the dimmer and dimmer my hopes get.

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