The Vacuum Cleaner Sucks

The television sucks ‘cause it’s broken,
My bulldog sucks ‘cause it’s meaner.
But how do to say…?
Please tell me the way…
To describe a bad vacuum cleaner?

If a vacuum cleaner blows does it suck?
‘Cause if it sucks, t’would be fine.
But it sucks ‘cause it blows
It’s a conundrum I know
A dilemma that I can’t well define.

If you suck it means you function all wrong
‘lest you were built to suck all the time.
It sucks, that’s the gist
But I’m shaking my fist!
Because if it’s sucks, it’s doing just fine!.

If a vacuum cleaner sucks more, I suppose it sucks less
Be it a Kirby, Hoover, or an Eletrolux.
It’s a paradox to heed
It’ll make your nose bleed
If you have a vacuum cleaner that sucks.

Written by Jason Gaston

Father, teacher, writer, photographer, artist, actor, male model, and inventor of the semicolon.

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