Psycho Goreman is an unrelenting barrage of nostalgic weirdness

Imagine ET was a mass murder and Elliot was a sociopath. What would have happened if The Terminator remained a killing machine after John Conner befriended it? What if Frankenstein’s Monster continued to be evil in Monster Squad? What if Stitch went on to destroy civilization as he was built to do?

If you’ve ever asked yourself any of those questions, seek help.

But before you seek that help, check out the marvelously ridiculous Shudder original movie, Psycho Goreman because it should be right up your sick and twisted ally.

The movie is about an alien warlord who, after centuries of imprisonment on Earth, is accidentally released by a sadistic little girl who gains complete control of him and uses him for her own amusement. This is, of course, while Psycho Goreman spouts endlessly about how he is going to murder her when he gets free.

A lot like Stranger Things, Psycho Goreman is a nostalgic throwback to low budget B-movies of the 70s and 80s. The makeup, special effects, hilariously exaggerated gore, and even the camera angles make me think this is something I could have easily found on a shelf of obscure horror movies at Blockbuster. I’m not sure if this cheap look was a necessity or a choice, but either way, it was brilliant.

More than anything, I am so happy that this is a movie full of despicable people who, in the long run, learn next to nothing. The little girl’s entire character arch is simply to say that she’s sorry to her brother and she does it in the most hilariously non-committal way possible. I don’t think that it’s any exaggeration to say that the little girl is arguably more evil than Psycho Goreman is on his worst day.

This movie simply doesn’t care. It has a crazy concept and all it’s interested in is milking that concept as much as it can. Truthfully, if I have one major complaint about this film, it is that they didn’t go far enough with it. Granted, they go pretty far, but I think that it could have gone farther with all the gruesome hilarity that could have followed.

Needless to say, I loved this movie. It is funny, it’s gory, and it gets a rise from being as ridiculous as possible and not giving a single solid damn about anything else.